Hi there! Is it only me who feels that 2019 has flown by but at the same time was an extremely looong year? I mean, I think of something that feels like literally three years ago and then realize it happened this year, and it honestly terrifies me. At some point, I just want this year to be over.
In this blogpost, I want to share all the things that happened to me this year, some goals and resolutions for the next one and where this blog is heading.
Basically, it was just another year, except for all the things that have happened. 2019 to me was all about feelings.
This year I’ve loved. I’ve loved so much that it felt like my chest could explode. I’ve lost, wondering if I will ever be myself again. I grieved and had to accept that my dad is gone forever. I’ve learned about acceptance, forgiveness but also realized that there are things I could never forgive. I’ve learned so much about myself and how capable I am, but it doesn’t matter how much I wouldn’t want to admit it, moving to another country and trying to fit in and assimilate, was and is genuinely bloody stressful. I got to meet amazing people, some of which I am proud to call friends. I asked for help and I helped. Now I know that things do actually get better. I also traveled and got to see quite a few places like Montenegro and Mallorca (and I also wrote a post about it here). I got to explore the city and country where I live and became a true coffee addict (not an achievement really, huh?)
I don't remember any New year's resolutions from last year, so I suppose there weren't any except for trying not to get kicked out of Uni. Eeh, I guess it's a success then, I am still a student. Although some things didn't turn out exactly as I wanted them to and time that could be spent more productively. (I mean, I spent about three weeks watching all eight seasons of Game of Thrones, feeling depressed while my school deadlines were actually dead.)There are many things that have happened this year that I will keep in my memory, but there's the one I want to share since I haven't done it before. This year in May I was in Prague where I met a woman from France. She was a tourist and got lost a little, turned out we were heading to the same place and I suggested we'd go there together. On the way, I learned that it was her first time in Prague and she was there by herself and at some point, as I asked why she traveled alone, we had a dialog that I found hilarious. I didn't expect her answer to be something like "Well... I have friends, but they're whether babysitting their grandchildren or they are dead, so I don't have anyone to travel with." O-oh. But she didn't sound upset about it, not at all, more than that she said that she loved traveling alone and even visited India on her own. Despite this weird dialog it was kind of inspiring and she was super kind (oh, and she said my French sounded fine... I mean a couple of phrases that I still remember lol). When it was time for us to separate, she didn't wish me a good day, but a good life. She is a stranger that I spent 15 minutes with, but it was so heartwarming and this is something I definitely want to remember.
Now onto the next one... Since I didn't have any resolutions last year, this year I could think of some and leave them here.
This year I've learned more than ever about feelings, behaviors, and people. So, next year I want to start treating people how they actually deserve it. To put away my expectations and let people go if they want to leave. To say "no" to things I'm not interested in and agree to things that are scary but exciting. I wish to stop doubting myself and go out of my comfort zone more often because otherwise, I will never learn new things.
I want to finally stop procrastinating, which is gonna be hard ugh. Be more concentrated and less multitasking.
I have a few ideas I want to start working on. It will cost me time and some money but I want to try. And if it doesn't work out, well... at least I could say that I tried. There are also skills I want to work on more, like keep trying to understand Python (lol, me and those programming things, good lord), photograph more and start learning another language. I finally have a vision of what I want to do and what direction I want to move in and also have an idea of what I have to do to get there.
Of course, I want to write and share and work on this blog. But here's a but...
I don’t want to travel just for the sake of traveling and to tickle off boxes in a travel diary, I don’t want to be in a relationship only for the sake of not being alone, and, sure as hell, I don’t want to write or make content for the sake of making content without any reflecting.
I have this blog for more than four years now and I still adore the idea behind it that was here from the very beginning. It is the idea of sharing my experience that, hopefully, can help someone else. And I want this place to stay genuine, honest and supportive. Of course, WayInspire has transformed and grown up with me. But even though there are posts that I am very proud of, now it’s not reflecting me as I am. That is why I want to go back to the roots of it but also add something new, that would reflect me and my interests. Lately, I’ve been deleting some old and not relatable content and fixing some things that I want to have on the blog. I am still working on the type of content I want to create here and figuring out things I want to share and how. The only thing I'm sure about is that I want to make this blog a personal, honest, real and supportive place that reflects me as I am.
So, that's it, I guess. I hope that 2019 treated you well and 2020 will bring lots of great things.
What have you learned this year? Do you make any resolutions for 2020 or do you have any advice?
My advice is - don’t settle. Don’t ever settle for less than you deserve. Don’t settle for less only because you don’t think you can do better. Because you can.
xx, D
